You will steal milk and you will have milk stolen from you.
Hysterical Food Girl has these special star-shaped Post-It notes that she leaves on her eggs and butter to let everyone know they are hers.
Has he spoken to anyone beyond potential amateur drug dealers?
One day, without anyone noticing, he will slip away into silence, and you will never see him again.
They are a walking reminder that university is a bubble.
Hey, what does this Rorschach card look like to you?
In an enormous act of self-sabotage, I have fallen on my sword and illustrated this article with photos exclusively of myself at university.
You are smart and you are destined for great things.
"Hello mum, it's me," you want to sob down the phone.
It goes like this: if you put anything from each of the three tips of the dairy triangle into a shared fridge – that's cheese, milk and butter – then those items will, like cruise liners in the North Atlantic, disappear.
And then you go to university and there is no one there to flush nerds' heads down the toilet, so they all get an inflated sense of self-worth.
(All photos via the author) What are you doing on the internet reading things, you fucking nerd?